| Morningstar |
| Sunday, August 17, 2008 |
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The SAF has always been a double edged sword for me. Training me. Moulding me. Teaching me. Warping me. Using me. Destroying me. I get out in 7 months, and contrary to what I've always been saying.... I can't wait. My job is getting unbearable. Work is piled on me, while everyone else walks around without a care in the world. I trust You, but not him. Thats why you do more work. Because You always do a good job! Because You were just standing there doing nothing! Because I know You won't say no. I hate the last one the most. It just stinks of manipulation. JUST because I don't mind doing work, doesn't mean that I like it. I'm just doing your work, because you can't be fucking bothered to do it. I should just sit back and not do shit at all, JUST to make you earn that fucking 4.5k paycheck that YOU don't deserve. . . . . . . Fuck. Sorry about that. I just feel this particular sense of un-belonging.I book in, people breeze in and out of my aura, sit down, smile, make small talk, bid me farewell. I book out, walking past shadows and staring into space. I come back from camp on a weekend, sign in to MSN and sit there expecting no one to drop in a message to me. Maybe I'm being childish. Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe I'm just not being open to the fact that the army is chewing up my social life, spitting it out, and spitting on it. Maybe I can see my destruction rushing upwards to me, as I fall too fast. Maybe, just maybe, deep down I am turning into a nihilist. Or maybe, just maybe, I need a hug. POSTED AT 8:46 AM |
| Sunday, July 20, 2008 |
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"Because he's the hero that Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now... And so we'll hunt him... Because he can take it... Because he's not a hero... He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... A Dark Knight..." -Commisioner James Gordon Catch the movie. No excuses people. POSTED AT 8:03 PM |
| Sunday, July 13, 2008 |
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In Response to Anita's Meme: List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring (*WINTER in my case). Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to. 1) Evil Angel - Breaking Benjamin. Best thing to happen since Diary Of Jane. 2) This Is Not The End - The Bravery. 3) Delirium Trigger - Coheed and Cambria. 4) Voices - Saosin. 5) You Are The One - Shiny Toy Guns. 6) Cells - The Servant. ASK ME FOR THIS SONG. lol. Its one of the songs played during the Sin City trailer, but no one knows anything about it. which is wrong! lol. 7) Ready, Steady, Go - Paul Oakenfold. A little rave music never killed anyone..... that badly. I Tag Clare, Eunice, Spiff, Melissa and... whoever reads my blog. lol. POSTED AT 2:37 AM |
| Sunday, June 29, 2008 |
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Hey peeps. A bump on the road has appeared. After that big comeback proclamation entry i penned in last week, and a few conversations with people, (Random recruit, Auntie Serene, AeroplaneMan, Uncle Belly) I believe that my mentioned direction about a foray in the hospitality/tourism industry has taken a few.... hits. Do I really, really, really, REALLY want to do it. Do I really have what it takes. (I do. I'm just listing it here because it was mentioned.) HOW & WHERE will I take it. *shrug* Funny. I thought I had everything figured out. Guess not? "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done"."-George Carlin (1937-2008) POSTED AT 5:05 PM |
| Saturday, June 21, 2008 |
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lol. Hey there. *waves* I'm back. better than ever. and I don't know what to write for my re-new post. XD rawghraaaaa. Past 6 months have been a long grind.. I'm thinking that I will probably have more downtime for myself in the next few months. Moderate obese boys for this batch. That kinda translates in long periods of admin time(Rest time. for those who are not informed of army lingo.) Been swimming alot. Running alot. Visiting the gym alot. My push up count per week exceeds more than a 1500 per week. Being fit is one thing. Now I have to start my upward curve. My slowslowslow rebuild of my social circle and life. lol. Gotta admit to myself that ever since I entered the army, I've almost converted into the life of a pilgrim. *shrug* These few months have taught me much. The weirdest part is that I've been welcoming the changes for a damned long time. Would have expected a long-ass period of procastination. Knowing my live-and-don't-learn attitude. Guess my heart knows better for me than my brain. Incidents in the army. Long conversations with a wise one. Long periods of time staring into space contemplating future. My future. A long long time ago, I was a Dota-addicted loser. I flunked my studies. I was unfit. Now I feel almost renewed. Faster. Stronger. Better. Most importantly, Goal Orientated. 4 Realistic goals I have set for myself: 1) Learn to drive. Finally. 2) Hospi Management at an undetermined Institute. (Probably PSB) 3) Lasik. My Dad's birthday present. 4) Picking up at least two of Rugby, Fencing, Mixed Martial Arts, Kayaking or ahem, Dragon Boating. >.< Took me long enough to realize a goal-orientated life would be the best. At least I realized in time. Last of all, to all the people who stuck with, inspired, matter to me. You know who you are. Thank You. I love all you people. :) lol. Anyway. My time is almost up here. Gonna head out to meet old comrades. Been a good re-new update post. haha. POSTED AT 12:26 PM |
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